For musician Leslie Feist, the cost of choosing to pull out of her planned US tour with Arcade Fire will be greater than just the huge financial burden.

Her decision followed the publication of sexual abuse allegations against Arcade Fire frontman Win Butler, the result of a media investigation tracing back to 2015. Butler swiftly denied accountability (“I am continuing to learn from my mistakes ... I f---ed up,” was among the measly excuses provided in a hollow apology) and has continued to perform with Arcade Fire despite Canadian and US radio stations pulling the band from playlists.

Feist will now, possibly forever, be asked to justify going on tour, pulling out of the tour, and how she did or did not do the right thing by victims of alleged sexual abuse.

This situation is far from extraordinary, and that is a conundrum we must stop overlooking as media and as a civilised society. Women must stop being held to account and forced to answer for men who have taken advantage of their fame and popularity to exploit and sexually, or physically, abuse women, men and minors.

Feist’s public statement regarding her choice was articulate and heartbreaking. She admitted she’d been caught unawares and would “navigate this decision imperfectly”, but that she would not remain silent. “The best way to take care of my band and crew and my family is to distance myself from this tour, not this conversation,” she asserted.

Feist has released five albums in over 20 years. The 46-year-old LA-based Canadian has wowed critics, won numerous awards and only this year, raved about working with cinematographers, stage designers and an eclectic band of instrumentalists to bring her “Multitudes” tour to the live audience. Now, journalists will harangue her to talk about Butler rather than well over two decades of hard work.

This tour was meant to be her most intimate with the audience, her grandest series of performances to date. Of her carefully configured post-lockdown performances, she told Variety earlier this year, “It was sort of a gentle ‘hey, come back in here. You’ll be safe in here,’ not like jumping into a freezing cold lake but sort of an easing back in. Those subtleties were quite powerful, because already with people sitting next to each other, their bodies were buzzing with self-awareness.”

Self-awareness. Imagine if Butler cared a smidgen for showing some of that. Instead, he is brimming with entitlement, privilege and bluster.