Like clockwork, the cooling winter temperatures have brought about their fair share of sickness, leaving many Australians stuck in bed with nothing but a sore throat to keep them company
Before you start re-watching that show you've seen 1,000 times, may the smart and handsome people of ABC Entertainment suggest the following media — guaranteed to distract you from the fact one of your nostrils is stuffed and the other one won't stop running.
Documentary Now! — iview
Do you find it impossible to waste time, even when you are in the throes of what feels like scarlet fever? Then Documentary Now! might just be the sickness watch for you. The acclaimed mockumentary series is the perfect show for when you crave that sense of accomplishment, but you actually haven't learned a goddamn thing.
Loading Instagram content
The premise is simple: over four seasons, Helen Mirren introduces you to 20 minutes of madcap fake documentary that is a spoof of a famous real documentary. And no, you don't have to have seen the real thing to enjoy the satire.
For example, I have never seen 90s US political doc The War Room (I am simply too pretty), but I have had multiple hacking laughs at Bill Hader as paunchy political 'mastermind' Teddy Redbones, muttering "Go for the jugular, fat man" at his electoral candidate.
Hader and co-creator Fred Armisen are in a huge chunk of episodes doing character work that blows their SNL days out of the water. All you have to do is choose what topic your sickly little heart is craving.
Like Talking Heads? Then you're gonna love season two highlight Final Transmission, which might actually have music as good as Stop Making Sense. (No-one tell David Byrne I said that.) Or if you're more of a Herzog fan, then you should dive into two-part episode Soldier of Illusion (season four), where Alexander Skarsgård embodies the existentialist's steely demeanour while directing an episode of CBS's hottest new reality series, Bachelor Nanny.
No matter where you land in Documentary Now's four seasons, something will take you away from the couch (figuratively). It also comes with the added bonus of being able to tell your insufferable coworker that you actually got through a lot of documentaries while recovering, thanks for asking.
— Velvet Winter
Loudermilk — Netflix
Sam Loudermilk (Ron Livingston) is a former music critic and an alcoholic who has a chip on his shoulder about just about everything.
He leads a drug and alcohol recovery group in his home city of Seattle, and his deeply flawed but generally well-meaning way of going about life makes him an interesting kind of anti-hero.
Loudermilk, which ran for three seasons from 2017 to 2020, is packed with narratives that are easy to follow, if often a little outlandish, and while there aren't a lot of truly hilarious moments, it's light and funny enough to make for easy watching.
It essentially looks and feels like a sequel to the 2000 film adaptation of High Fidelity, complete with a hefty handful of music nerd references. So if that's the kind of thing that soothes you in times of ill-health, this under-discovered little show will get you through nicely.
— Dan Condon
Little Women (1994) — Prime
When I'm home sick, I always reach for something from my childhood that'll immediately take me back to the days when my parents would lovingly administer chicken soup until I was on the mend (curse you adulthood! Now I have to make my own chicken soup and it's not the same!).
So that's why I find myself frequently re-watching the 1994 version of Little Women, directed by Australian Gillian Armstrong and starring Winona Ryder (Jo), Claire Danes (Beth), Kirsten Dunst (young Amy), Christian Bale (Laurie) and Susan bloody Sarandon (Marmee).
I know everyone was besotted with Greta Gerwig's 2020 version of the Louisa May Alcott classic but, to me, Ryder IS Jo March.
This version is just so hygge, so lived in, I can almost smell the roast the March family gives up to the poverty-stricken Hummel family, the burn of Meg's (Trini Alvarado) curls at Jo's clumsy hands, and Laurie's desperation to win the headstrong second-born March's heart.
I can feel the sharpness of the ice that Amy falls through after burning Jo's manuscript (tbh, deserved it) and the burn of the cuts on her hands administered by the draconian school teacher.
"Your one beauty!", delivered by Amy after Jo cuts off her hair, will always be an iconic line. Don't even get me started on when Beth (spoiler alert) finally carks it; I have not recovered.
All of this, through any sick stupor, wakes me up and invigorates me! That IS cinema.
— Hannah Reich
The Hunger Games — Netflix
For those who were too young, too old, or too in their insufferably snobby early 20s (me) to watch The Hunger Games when the film came out in 2012, our story begins in a dystopian future, in the totalitarian country of Panem.
Every year, two young people from each of the country's 12 downtrodden districts are selected to compete in the titular games: a televised competition where the teenagers quite literally fight to the, oft gruesome, death. The wealthy elite in the Capitol — whose own children don't have to compete — watch on with glee, betting on who will be the victor.
In the year of the first movie, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence, with an irresistible tomboyish spark), voluntarily takes the place of her younger sister. Competing against teens who have been training for this their whole lives, Katniss is almost certain to die. But we soon find out she's made of tougher stuff than we thought…
Perhaps it was the excitement of getting into a hugely popular franchise years and years late, but when I finally was so sick I decided to give it a go, I found the film full of edge-of-your-seat thrills, impressive fight sequences, dark twists, delicious bad guys (vale Donald Sutherland) and high camp fashion (worn by the Capitol voyeurs, led by a flamboyant Elizabeth Banks). Not to mention a badass protagonist with an enviable braid, fighting against injustice/capitalism/fascism/colonialism and maybe capturing some hearts as she goes.
Of course, The Hunger Games and ensuing titles were first books, by Suzanne Collins, and I'm told they're a lot of fun. But the films are a great option if you feel too sick or tired to sit up and use brain.
Most of all, The Hunger Games is one of four films in the franchise, plus a prequel film. And when you're stuck in bed, unable to leave your room for an interminable stretch of time, this is key. I watched one film each day, usually making myself wait until the afternoon, and I found myself excited to sit down and find out what happened next. Sweet structure!
— Katherine Smyrk
Severance — Apple TV+
Look, on paper, Severance is not an inherently comforting watch. It's a dark sci-fi workplace thriller with comedic moments, and it will have you wrapped around its little finger with the quality of its writing.
It certainly isn't the most warm and cuddly offering, but whenever I sink deep into the couch of depression it's the most distracting and cathartic journey to get lost in.
The show follows company man Mark Scout (played by Parks and Recreation's Adam Scott), who works on the "severed" floor of mysterious megacorp Lumon. Workers on that floor are implanted with a chip that separates their work consciousness ("innie") from their life on the outside world ("outie"). The innies have no memories of their outies and vice versa. Dear reader, let me tell you that there is most certainly mystery afoot at Lumon, and the innies have to somehow connect to their outies to untangle the webs.
One thing that makes this show so comforting is the absolute pathos that Adam Scott brings to Mark Scout. Mourning the loss of his late wife, he's drawn to the severance procedure as a way to tune out from his depression and grief. Relatable!
Another notch on the comfy scale comes from the beautiful, genuine and childlike relationships that form on the severed floor. Because innies are effectively "born" when the severance procedure is completed, their workplace friendships are their first time being socialised. This leads to incredibly moving relationships, like the one between Christopher Walken's Burt Goodman and John Turturro's adorable Irving Bailiff. Also, the show is directed by Ben Stiller somehow. I don't know how we got here either, but I like it.
If you need to tune out for a bit and get lost in something other than your waking life, why not watch Mark Scout do the exact same thing on the severed floor of Lumon? At least that version has coveted finger traps and melon parties.
— James Brennan