Daniher is media shy and leaves next to no footprint; his public utterances are rare and any insight into his private world even rarer.

There’s no sign of him on social media. He loves movies, but doesn’t have a TV in his home (he does have an iPad to get his cinema fix). He has always been a keen music fan with broad tastes.

Growing up in Melbourne and carrying the famous Daniher name has possibly made him keen to protect his privacy. Or perhaps the harsh reality of being a footballer – which Essendon players have felt more than most through the past decade – skewed him in that direction.

Daniher lives in relative obscurity in the northern NSW town of Ocean Shores, a two-hour drive from the Gabba, with his partner Adelle and two children Maeve and Raf.

“Hope you enjoy a bit of time in the car, big fella,” his skipper Harris Andrews quipped when he heard the star forward was settling over the border.

He does. The drive gives him plenty of time to listen to an array of podcasts, which his teammate Ryan Lester says gives Daniher an oversized understanding of the chaos and drama that is American politics.

“I try to learn a bit off him,” Lester said. He is not the only one. Other friends describe Daniher as a progressive thinker who has taught them plenty about key social issues. His teammates adore him, and he adores them too.

“I love that guy,” dual Brownlow medallist Lachie Neale said. “His secret to success is having a happy life outside of football, and that is something I have learned off him and a lot of guys have, too. He does his prep and his homework on the opposition, but he doesn’t watch footy and has a great balance of family and footy.”

Those outside the bubble find it easy to paint a cartoonish picture of Daniher. A player without a care in the world who takes that attitude on to the football field – what will be, will be.

But to those who know him best, that picture would only represent a part of big Joe. To them, he is a normal 30-year-old dad with good values and a job he enjoys. His Ocean Shores home allows him to maximise his proximity to the beach and the bush while balancing time for family and his commitment to the game.

His switch to the Lions in 2021, after 108 games with the Bombers, made that life happen. His decision to leave Essendon, where his extended family’s roots run deep, was courageous – and it allowed Daniher to become the best player he can be.

“I enjoy the challenge that is playing AFL football and within that trying to continue to be myself and be really comfortable with who I am in that space,” Daniher said in a 2018 interview with the AFL Players Association.

“I think it is important. To play your best footy, you have to be comfortable with who you are.”

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He is comfortable with who he is, and importantly his club is more than comfortable with him. Midway through this year part of Daniher’s weekly routine became joining Lester, Zorko, Andrews and Josh Dunkley for a coffee at Total Fusion in Springfield. The conversation started with discussions about whether it might be time to start introducing youth. Then it turned to winning a flag.

“As a leader I have been able to lean on him for advice [and] perspective,” Andrews said. “We’re different blokes in the sense we probably think things through a bit differently, but we are both just hungry to achieve team success.”

No one can point to specific advice Joe has given, but they say he has shown by example that a prescribed way of living is not a prerequisite to playing good football.

“Joey is so special,” Dunkley said. “The way he thinks about the game … it is not just the on-field stuff, it’s the off-field stuff as well. The way that he goes about his work and cares for the group is incredible.”

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That care was evident in the preliminary final when he approached assistant coach Cameron Bruce at a break and demanded to move into the ruck as he saw a shoulder injury causing his teammate Oscar McInerney so much pain. “He doesn’t love the ruckwork, but he knew he had to do it,” Zorko said.

That call was just one example of Daniher’s love of what he once described as “the pure side of the game, a contest between two teams”.

That competitive spirit was first evident to recruiters and his peers when he went head-to-head with Brodie Grundy at an AIS-AFL Academy training session in the small Italian town of Gavirate in 2012.

The two tall, free-spirited teenagers fought with a fury to win the Sherrin. It was a battle few watching from the sidelines will forget. AFL talent guru Kevin Sheehan said it was unforgettable: “Their determination to win the ball, athleticism, courage and absolutely going on hands and knees after the thing to win it back.”

Daniher and Grundy remain mates, their friendship forged on that European trip. Thirteen years later they play on opposing sides at the MCG on Saturday, and are likely to face off regularly in a re-run of that time in Italy. Daniher is sure to spend some time in the ruck, particularly in the absence of McInerney.

Both started their careers at different clubs from the ones they will represent on Saturday. In fact, Daniher almost became a Swan more than once in the past 15 years.

Anthony Daniher’s 118 games with Essendon and 115 with Sydney meant that Joe had the option to go either way under father-son rules. At the end of 2010 he decided to join Essendon in the 2012 draft rather than Sydney while driving back from a Christmas break in Temora with his oldest brother Darcy, who played six matches with the Bombers.

During that decision-making time he had locker No. 51 for his sporadic visits to Essendon’s Windy Hill and a spot in the AIS-AFL Academy alongside his close friend from Aberfeldie footy club, Liam McBean.

All of Daniher’s quirks were on full display at Essendon. He showed his mettle in big games—winning the Anzac Day Medal in 2017 with a three-goal performance, and won the best and fairest and was an All-Australian with 65 goals in 2017, but then injuries struck, and he felt a fresh start would be best for everyone.

He asked for a trade to Sydney after a secret meeting in the harbour city with Swans CEO Tom Harley became public, but it failed to go through when the Bombers played hardball. The Swans needed to trade Tom Papley to Carlton to get the picks to make the Daniher deal work. Papley remained a Swan.

Groin issues sent Daniher to Ireland as part of his recovery in the next pre-season as he returned to the Bombers, but he didn’t play his first game until round 14. He made the move to the Lions in 2021 after meeting club officials over Zoom several times while in the hub during COVID-19.

The Lions were impressed at his maturity as he asked how the team – who had lost that season’s preliminary final to Geelong – generated the energy he had recognised in their play. He asked whether they had any issue if he lived away from the norm. The impact a move would have on his partner Adelle was also strong in his consideration.

As a restricted free agent he joined the Lions without the drama of the failed Sydney move and Fagan embraced his different approach, respecting and understanding what made him tick. Football was his job.

A tight group of friends – including people from his days playing football with Aberfeldie, who will be at the grand final – and family, were his life.

Daniher has been a brilliant acquisition. His raking left-foot kicking, high marking and pinch-hitting in the ruck make him one of the game’s most valuable players. He has kicked 202 goals for the Lions in his 95 games.

Last Saturday night, after the Lions’ preliminary final win over Geelong, he tucked himself away in a quiet corner of the rooms. His grin was wide, his eyes alive as he avoided media attention, politely declining a request to chat as he soaked in the atmosphere.

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The Lions were in a grand final again, Joe’s second and the ninth combined for the famous Daniher name. His father played in Essendon’s loss in 1990, uncle Chris became a premiership player in 1993 after playing in 1990, and Terry was Essendon’s premiership captain in 1984-85, experiencing defeat in 1983 and 1990.

Joe was the Lions’ best player in last year’s grand final loss to Collingwood. Like all those who were part of that loss, the fire burns brightly to change the story this time.

For none more than Joe.

“He cares more than anyone at this footy club about winning and I know he wants a premiership more than anyone,” Neale said.

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