Amy was two and a half years old when she was taken into state care. She would have seven different placements, seven different homes, during her childhood.
"I was never told that I was in care, I just remember knowing.
"I can't remember any case workers who sat me down and told me why I was moved home to home."
Looking at her classmates, Amy felt "like an alien" — no-one else seemingly had a caseworker pull them out of class to talk to them. She didn't go on holidays or have birthdays like they did.
Amy (not her real name) was among the speakers at AbSec's child and family conference this week on Dharug Country, Penrith, attended by close to 300 people working in the child protection and welfare sector.
"We're pushed to feel like we did something wrong, to not be living with our biological family," the 18-year-old said.
In 2022-23, Aboriginal children were twelve times more likely to be in out-of-home care in NSW, rising from 9.5 times in 2017-18.
Now out of the system, Amy believes it is important she shares her story to help others like her.
"We need to reach out to our children, let them know that we are here for them," she told those at the conference.
She said in one house she was placed in, she would get into fights with her caregiver.
"Most parents just send their children to time out and give them a talking to, whereas I was dragged on the ground and thrown into walls, punched, scratched and smacked across the head."
She would change homes and start new schools, but she always felt like an outsider.
"Everything was such a shock to me, and everything was so new."
"My long journey with self-harm and self-hatred had only just begun. I've also learned what bullying felt like that year as well."
Amy says that children need case workers who can take the time to listen to them and not put them in the "too-hard basket". (ABC News: Stephanie Boltje)
She was routinely called an attention-seeker. After a stint in hospital, she would be diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety.
"I felt like a puzzle piece that didn't fit anywhere."
She didn't know she had siblings until she went to her father's funeral.
"It wasn't until four years later, after my father passed, that I was able to reconnect with my older siblings, and that only happened because my carers specifically requested family time. It is a shame that something so fundamental, knowing and connecting to my own flesh and blood was delayed for so long."
Aunty Deb Swan, a founding member of Grandmothers Against Removal, called on those in the conference room to speak up for kids in care. (ABC News: Stephanie Boltje)
Her story brought Aunty Debra Swan, who worked in child protection for 13 years, to tears.
"Even though they're not my grandkids, I still feel responsible for some of those kids, that they're not being heard while they're in that system.
"It's when they come out, you know, that they feel safe enough to tell us those stories."
Aunty Deb founded Grandmothers Against Removals when she felt she wasn't being listened to as a caseworker for the Department of Communities and Justice.
"What I saw in my time at DCJ was that our families were not being heard and the department was still pushing an agenda of assimilation."
Increasing rates of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders in care
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children are more than 10 times more likely to be in care compared with non-Indigenous children.
CEO for the national voice of Aboriginal children (SNAICC) Catherine Liddle revealed the latest figures that showed since June 2023, the number of First Nations children in out-of-home care had been increasing.
She said close to 41 per cent of children in out-of-home care were First Nations children — equating to 22,908 Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children in care nationally.
"Twenty-two thousand, nine hundred and eight children not living in their own homes, not connected to their mothers and dads, not connected to their brothers and sisters.
"While those numbers are important … we always need to remember that when we are talking about those numbers, they are not statistics, they are our babies, they are families."
A road map to reform: Advocates call for immediate changes
Five years on from a NSW government-commissioned Family is Culture review into the sector, only 12 of the 126 recommendations have been fully implemented.
On Wednesday, NSW Aboriginal organisations including family and community peak body AbSec, the Aboriginal Legal Service, UTS Jumbunna Institute for Indigenous Education and Research and the Justice and Equity Centre called for "urgent action".
John Leha acknowledges the commitment from the current families minister but says there needs to be a wider response. (ABC News: Stephanie Boltje)
First on their wishlist was for the NSW government to set up an independent Child Protection Commission and appoint a commissioner for aboriginal children and young people, as other states have already implemented.
"There is no greater accountability or oversight for Aboriginal families," John Leha, CEO of AbSec, told the Indigenous Affairs Team.
"The ombudsman's report, the audits office report, all of them have clearly stated that there is no real accountability for the department or for the sector at large and that we need to see that happen."
"There's a road map, let's use it."
John Leha has spoken with representatives about this and said a whole-of-government response was lacking. (ABC News: Stephanie Boltje)
The Birri Gubba, Wakka Wakka and Tongan man said improvements had been made in recent years by the NSW government but that a whole-of-government response was lacking.
"Five years on, we see ritualism still suffocating meaningful change, many of the … recommendations have been reduced to a box-ticking exercise," he said.
In a progress report released this week, the organisations said the recommendations "are being progressed in silos, without recognition of the broader framework of self-determination and accountability which should guide the implementation of every recommendation".
Kate Washington acknowledged a "broken system" was failing First Nations children. (ABC News: Emily Jane Smith )
NSW Minister for Families and Communities Kate Washington told the conference via video that discussions were ongoing about a commissioner role.
She acknowledged that "we have a broken system that has continued to fail Aboriginal children and families".
Among her commitments for change, the minister said she was committed to working with Aboriginal community-controlled organisations (ACCOs).
"We are also focused on transferring Aboriginal children case-managed by non-Aboriginal out-of-home care providers to ACCOs, so Aboriginal children in care grow up strong in their culture," Ms Washington said.
In September, Allies for Children, which includes non-Indigenous organisations Barnados, the Benevolent Society and Life Without Barriers, agreed not to accept referrals for children who were better off with Aboriginal community-controlled organisations.
Gomeroi woman Aunty Debra Swan said she had been screaming out to government for decades that the answers lay with local communities, and to involve the wider kinship system before kids are taken.
"They're not talking to families about how to resolve this issue without taking the kids away from the whole family.
"What I've always said to them [the ministers], until I see actions, I don't believe your words anymore."