“I used to live in one of those streets with inflatable Santas (C8) and reindeer,” recounts Richard Jary of Waitara. “All very festive with the lights and all. But problems arose during the day when they weren’t inflated, and it looked like a massacre had taken place.”
“After consulting Dr Google about leg cramps, I was diagnosed with a ‘Charley Horse’.” Asked if there was an Australian translation for this US affliction, the good doctor replied, ‘Neigh’.” We thank Eve Moyse of Dora Creek who went on to explain that she “had to get this pun in before George M. got a chance.”
“Ted Richards; there is already a push to replace ‘palindrome’ (C8) with the neologism: ‘Mynonym’,” advises Kenneth Smith of Orange.
Peter Heron of Forestville writes: “In the same vein as Ann Babington’s long steak (C8), my late wife, while shopping with an elderly aunt who had asked for 250 kilograms of mince, said to the butcher ‘Bags you carry it out to the car’.”
“Not so long ago, before cars had all sorts of the latest electronic gizmos, it used to be alleged that the choke (C8), when pulled out, was for ladies to hang their handbag on,” says Vince Russo of Woonona. We have evidence of this from John Crowe of Cherrybrook who says his “revered” aunt did this when she got her first car and adds that it’s “not recommended”.
Regarding the column shift (C8) “Michael Fletcher forgot to add that if the driver was turning into a side street on a raining night, he or she would also have one foot on the clutch, the other with a toe on the brake and the heel on the accelerator and if the accelerator was touched, the manifold vacuum motor would slow and the windscreen wipers would almost stop,” advises Neil Crosby of Annandale. “The headlights would be lighting the main road and the side street would be in total raining darkness. How did we learn to drive? Usually, a few drives around the backstreets with mum or dad, then a trip down to the local police station on the day after our 17th birthday. FC Holden, I think.”
Having perused the news of last week, Sue Shute of Lake Macquarie has one thing to declare: “The Time Magazine Person of the Year 2024, should be Gisele Pelicot!” And a shout-out to her Mulyatingki Marney scarf.
Column8@smh.com.au
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