Matty J is the Bachelor Australia has been waiting for. Picture: Richard Dobson

For the unfamiliar, Matty J was the runner-up of the last series of The Bachelorette, if you can use the phrase ‘runner-up’ when you’re talking about definitely real and sincere televised courtships.

In what has been the show’s modus operandi for the last couple of series, we all thought Matty was going to get the girl right up until the series climax, when he was pipped at the potential partner post by Lee.

But now, Matty J will have a bevy of lifted-and-separated beauties to choose from without having to compete with anyone more chiselled, and we’re happy because he has the potential to be the best Bachelor Australia has ever seen.

And I’ve figured out why.

Because Matty J is basically a kelpie in a human suit.

Here is a picture of Matty J with a baby. Picture: @matthewdavidjohnson/InstagramSource:Instagram

Here is a photo of a Kelpie. Picture: Mark StewartSource:News Corp Australia

Like a kelpie, Matty J seems like he’d be loyal to a fault, trotting along beside you, looking up to see which direction you want to go whenever you get to an intersection.

Sure, the producers of The Bachelor may require him to lick the hand of the other bachelorettes every now and again for continuity and drama purposes, but he will only hump your leg, and your leg alone.

By law, all Bachelors are required to undergo a full body wax prior to filming, but there’s a strong sense that in normal life, Matty J is dusted with a soft, enticing layer of golden brown fur.

Nobody cares if a kelpie has bodacious abs. With kelpies, it’s all personality, personality, personality, as it is with Matty J. There’ll be laughs, and games, and jokes, and hand-holding, and fun leisure-time activities, and running after sheep. One of the great things about Matty J, though, is he also has bodacious abs.

Here is a photo of Matty’s abs. Picture: @matthewdavidjohnson/InstagramSource:Instagram

There’s no way the show will be able to paint Matty J as a dynamic millionaire mogul. Granted, they didn’t try to do that with last series’ Richie, who it’s hard to imagine even signing his name without sticking his tongue out with concentration.

But even though there will no doubt be one or two contractual obligation helicopters in the new series, it will be all the producers can do to stop Matty J sticking his head out of the window, closing his eyes and letting the wind tousle his hair, like a kelpie in the back of a ute.

Here is a photo of Matty with a fellow puppy. Picture: @matthewdavidjohnson/InstagramSource:Instagram

Most importantly, it feels like we’ll be able to know exactly how Matty J feels because it will be written all over his face. If you squint, you’ll be able to see him actually wagging his tail when the girl he has a crush on comes into view.

Matty J is the best insurance we have against a last-minute lady-preference twist, because Matty J has the emotional focus and clarity of a loyal and unconditional quadruped.

Matty J is better than all the Bachelors we’ve ever seen because we’re going to believe him, and we’re going to like him. Oh god, please let us be able to believe and like him.

So in a nutshell, gentlemen, to be the kind of bachelor the world wants to see, the advice is simple: Be a kelpie.

With abs.

Definitely don’t forget those abs. Picture: @matthewdavidjohnson/InstagramSource:Instagram

Jo Thornely is a writer who loves it when you explain her jokes back to her on Twitter. Follow her @JoThornely