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If aliens have been paying attention to Earth, how would they view us?
Would-be astronaut Josh Richards, an Australian top 100 candidate for the privately funded Mars One mission, says if there is extra-terrestrial life, they could only deduce that we were Klingon-opera loving, corn chip-enslaving, Theremin-playing monsters, who enjoy the music of female reproductive organs.
Here's why.
The Arecibo message - and mistake
The first intentional message into space was the Arecibo message in 1974, sent from Puerto Rico's Arecibo radio telescope.
The message used prime numbers to create a grid which included DNA elements and rudimentary images of humans and the telescope itself.
"By today's standards, the image was very basic but used the prime numbers as a contextual foundation," Josh told The Link.
Despite the work that went into it, a miscalculation saw the message, intended for the globular cluster M13, veer off course with little chance of ever being received.
Voyager's golden LPs
The most comprehensive intentional representation of earth and humans left earth aboard the 1974 Voyager mission, etched onto 2 golden records.
"They contained sounds of whales singing, different languages and 116 images representing life on earth," Josh said.
"The images of man and woman were censored by NASA so they contained no graphic images of human genitalia."
'Poetica vaginal'
The NASA censorship led one MIT research affiliate to record and transmit the sound of a ballerina's vagina contracting.
The US Air Force tried to shut the transmission down, but not before a short message was sent out and reached Tau Ceti in 1998 and Epsilon Eridani in 1996.
An SOS from corn chips
The snack company Doritos held a competition in 2008 for corn chip fans to create a TV commercial that would be sent into space.
"The winning entry showed what can only be described as an Aztec ritual sacrifice of corn chips being dunked into salsa then consumed by a scruffy sophomore student, which might trigger aliens to launch a rescue mission to save the poor chips," Josh said.
Klingon opera
Star Trek's invented language of Klingon was used to create a full length opera by a Dutch opera company in 2009, part of which was sent to space.
The language of the fictional intergalactic warrior race, not known for its delicate tones or ear-pleasing sound, may only be interpreted as "a declaration of war", Josh said.
The spooky theremin
A group of Russian teenagers decided in 2001 to send "information about our internal emotional world".
And what better way to achieve that than with the Theremin.
"Easily the creepiest musical instrument in all the known universe," according to Josh.
Across the universe
Iconic Beatles song Across the Universe was sent into space in 2008 as a message of hope, love and oneness.
The record company's concerns over royalty collection had to be allayed first and Paul McCartney apparently said, "Send [the aliens] my love".
The message should arrive at its intended target, the North Star, Polaris, by 2439.
Mars 2031
Josh Richards is hoping his planned mission to the Red Planet, if he is selected, would send a similar message of inspiration, but for earthlings not aliens. And just like those message we have already sent, it's a one-way trip.
But that prospect doesn't phase or deter him.
"I'll feel overwhelmingly joyful at the thought that there are hundreds of millions of kids growing up on that planet that I'm leaving behind, who will be watching us leave, who will want to grow and be explorers too," Josh said.
"Looking at it [the universe] as a wonderful, complex, vicious beast that is unforgiving, but is also extraordinarily beautiful."
Let's just hope Josh remembers to take the corn chips.
Topics: science-and-technology, astronomy-space, space-exploration, australia