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Dodging punches, frightening the pants off macho men, and eliciting screams from teenage girls — scarers inside the ghost train and haunted hotel at the Royal Adelaide Show have an interesting job, to say the least.
But they also have to clean urine off seats when children wet themselves in fright.
Eden Muir and Michael Chapman are self-described "stinking carnies" who have been on the show circuit with the Spook ghost train for about six months and 18 months respectively.
They lurk in the darkness, jump out from around corners with masks and torches and make loud noises to startle those who have paid to ride the horror show.
"You get some funny reactions," Eden said.
"The bigger, older, tougher men — they're the best ones to scare."
One of Eden's favourite moments is towards the end of the ride.
"They can see the light at the end of the tunnel and think it's over, but you get them right as the doors open and that's the best.
"That's usually where the kids start to cry, if you get them good enough."
Their scares are sometimes so effective they have had to give children a couple of extra tickets for different rides because they cannot be consoled.
"They come off the ride pretty traumatised," Michael said.
"I used to scare them no matter what, even if they were already crying, but I've softened a bit over the last few shows."
But be warned — if the scarers are in a bad mood, or somebody else has just gone through without being startled, they might double their efforts.
After all, being scared is what people have paid for.
Dodging punches in the dark
But the scarers also have to be careful.
Despite paying for the ride, some people really do not like being startled.
"They'll try and hit you if they can, or grab the mask from your hand," Eden said.
"They lash out a lot, and normally it's the fathers or the teenage boys," Michael said.
"I think they go in thinking they're not going to be scared."
The ghost train can also be a place for romance, believe it or not, with teenagers occasionally using the darkness to kiss — although there's no ghost train version of the Mile High Club.
"The ride only lasts a few minutes so they don't really have a whole lot of time," Michael said.
More often, the ride sees children wetting themselves in fright, or crapping their pants.
"It happens, especially if they're little," Eden said.
"It's pretty frightening in there."
But she said the really small children mostly did not startle at all.
"I don't know if their brain hasn't developed enough and they can't register the scare in time," Eden said.
"Maybe a second later they'll look back and try to find you in the dark and obviously they can't see you."
A job providing 'complete satisfaction'
Further down Sideshow Alley is The Haunted Hotel, owned by Showtime Amusements owner and director Lewis Osborne.
He has had 40 years' experience running ghost trains and haunted houses and describes it as a "complete satisfaction job".
Lewis said his favourite moment involved a group of teenage girls.
"The second they break into the first door, they start screaming, and then every time you go near them, they scream louder, and that happens for the whole two minutes of the ride's duration," he said.
"I don't know how their lungs have held out, and they're screaming louder and louder and louder and by the time they go out the other end they're still screaming.
"And, of course, you don't leave them alone once they start screaming like that. They're the perfect customer."
Lewis said he still gets a kick from the surprise on peoples' faces when they least expect to be scared, calling their reactions "priceless" and "incredible".
He said the really terrified people will crawl under their seats if they can and hide there.
"The cart will come out and it will look like it's empty, but there's probably two or three people jammed in under the seat, hiding there to try and escape everybody," he said.
"We've heard some of the weirdest crying, and some of the weirdest screams, and you feel like walking outside after they've been through and saying, 'can I hire you?'
"Young children, of course, you leave them alone, but they have their own reactions when the time comes."
As for those who react violently to the shock of an actor scaring them in the dark, Lewis said it was a rare occurrence these days.
"You can almost pick it ... they're showing a bit of bravado and throwing their arms around and everything," he said.
"You just sense something and you don't go near that particular person."
Lewis enjoys the sound of screams so much he has set up what he describes as Australia's first big scare park, Fearaphobia, a Sydney event running in its second year from late October up to Halloween with eight different scare attractions.
"We are totally dedicated to scream."
The Royal Adelaide Show is on at the Wayville Showgrounds until September 10.
Topics: community-and-multicultural-festivals, offbeat, arts-and-entertainment, adelaide-5000, sa
First posted