We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Kruges is shouldering this entire franchise. She gives the people what we want. A weird MAFS star getting evicted doesn’t hold a candle to the three minutes and 37 seconds we get to see of Kruges when she Zoom calls in to read out the results at the nightly evictions.

So, what else happens in this episode? Let’s just say I pull a Matt Doran and don’t get around to watching all of it. Go easy on me.

JAMES WEIR RECAPS: Read all the recaps here

Last week’s tension between the girls continues to hang around. There’s former Married At First Sight contestant Jessika Power, Kyle Sandilands’ ex Imogen Anthony and some lady called Ellie.

Ellie hates the other two because they both pretended to be her friend and then completely snaked her by voting her out. But now that Big Brother has brought her back into the house, she wants revenge.

Jessika’s completely frightened.

“I’m very cautious of her. I don’t really wanna keep someone in the competition that has a bandetta against me,” she says, mispronouncing the word “vendetta”.

But it order for Ellie to act on her bandetta, she must win a challenge. Ugh. Bandetta’s are hard.

In an absolute triumph, she wins the obstacle course and then runs around screaming my most-used phrase: “Lick it! Lick it! LICK IT!”

She wastes no time in pursuing her bandetta – marching into the Diary Room to nominate the nemesis who wronged her.

This vicious act of payback now means Jessika has her own bandetta.

“Ellie, you haven’t won yet – I want your head on a platter,” she splutters, pledging to seek her own revenge.

But before Jessika’s new bandetta can play out, she’s evicted. Of course she reacts appropriately.

After all this, we’re made sit through another 40-minute obstacle course before a completely different elimination ceremony happens. That’s when Kruges Zoom calls in to save the day.

The crowd goes wild.

“Oh, whoa! Nice outfit!” that hot guy from TikTok yells.

“Whoa! Holy moley!” that Ellie lady screams.

“That’s amazing!” Imogen whoops.

And it is amazing. Particularly when you remember this Zoom call is just something Kruges does for three minutes at the end of her very busy day – and this Britney Spears catsuit is probably just what she chucked on in the morning to do the school run before heading off to some important meetings.

Anyway, Imogen gets evicted. And Kruges hangs up because she’s gotta duck to the supermarket.

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