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Let’s all visit the farm, Australia.
Regional labour shouldn’t just be left to the sun-burned backpackers looking to spend a few more months binge-drinking on our beaches. All Australian citizens should do a stint in the country, too.
From 18 onwards, you’d be called up to help pick the produce we shove into our French-door fridges and milk the soybeans for our $7 lattes. Consider it akin to jury duty – except you get to wear a rugged Akubra and revealing khaki shorts.
Parking inspectors are well-trained to wrangle cattle. Credit: Adam Ihse
Many Australian farmers report that they’re still struggling to find manual labourers post-pandemic; the number of international students and working holidaymakers just hasn’t recovered enough. Perhaps Farmer Wants a Wife needs a spin-off called Farmer Wants a Workforce.
The issue isn’t forecast to resolve soon, either. Although the states and territories have been putting pressure on the federal government to boost immigration, the measures have turned out to be counterproductive for rural towns because ourlatest agreement with the UK allows Brits up to three working holiday visas without having to do any farm work at all. Can you imagine? A bunch of Poms coming here with nothing to whinge about?
There are new regulations for employing Pacific Islander workers on farms now, too. A recently implemented policy requires that these workers are guaranteed a minimum of 30 hours a week (weather permitting).
As a looney, leftie, union man, I’m delighted we’re looking out for the worker here. But some farmers are nervous about using such a rigid scheme. All sorts of things besides weather can delay work on a farm: broken equipment, shipment delays, bad hangovers.
So perhaps the implementation of mandatory national farm duty could help. It’s not an outrageous idea. Many countries have compulsory military service. Why can’t we have compulsory grape picking? Make wine not war, I say.
Much like jury duty, all our names would get mixed in a bingo cage, drawn and then the lucky winner gets notified of the dates they’re needed out bush. There would be disqualifying factors, of course, like health issues, childcare, or being an occasional contributor to The Age (we must be reasonable).