Instagram is abuzz with news that comedian Arj Barker ceased his performance at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival a few minutes in to publicly request a woman with her baby depart the audience as he feared the seven-month-old would make noises and distract from his show.

A variety of views have been aired on this, including whether a comedy show is an appropriate place for a baby, and the public has been divided between scolding the woman for attempting such a feat, and championing her for trying.

Following this event, women have been coming forward to share their stories of other comedians who, when caught off guard by a baby in the audience but being nonetheless used to heckling, have embraced it as part of their show. American comedian Matt Rife ended up with a baby on stage at his Australian performance earlier this year and it helped rather than hindered the LOLs.

This latest example speaks to a far bigger issue in our country: we don’t tolerate children in public spaces. To be clear, I have no concerns with baby-free spaces existing. My concern is that, since having kids, I have noticed that this is too often the rule, not the exception. It isn’t explicit, it is cultural, and understanding why these unspoken rules exist often feels a little arbitrary. It also isn’t a universal experience around the world.

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Last year I took my kids to Italy and it was a delightful culture shock. When I asked my Italian mother-in-law about whether we should look into nanny options to assist us on the journey, she laughed. Italians simply take their children with them. Everywhere. Children enjoy bars and restaurants in Sicily, sometimes until the early hours of the morning, making friends with other kids. Not only is it tolerated, it is welcomed, and you receive a lot of smiles.

Friends tell me Spain has a similar attitude in its bars and restaurants, where kids play and interact until late. And I hear Greece is similar.

Back home, my sister-in-law, who is well-practised in dining out with her children, suggested I prioritise Asian restaurants for dinner. Thai and Japanese are always fairly reliable because, despite the amount of rice lying in a ring around the chairs post-dinner, there is never a whiff of disgruntled attitude. And they love seeing you return.

So I dare say, this is an Anglo issue. An extension of the NO BALL GAMES sign outside a London apartment building, an echo of the familiar refrain many grew up with: that children should be seen but not heard.