“But there are also some people who have trouble remembering faces and social interactions for a number of reasons. The social anxiety this can cause for them sometimes means that they will avoid anyone who triggers shame around this ‘forgetting’.”

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I would add that some people find it difficult to get back into a friendly social groove, or to return to a friendly rapport, especially when there’s a break in between interactions. And sometimes it doesn’t matter how enjoyable and chummy the initial interplay has been.

I remember way back at the very start of my time at uni, I started chatting with someone in the long line to complete my enrolment. I got along well with them, and it turned out we were doing similar subjects.

When I met them again in a tute group several weeks later, there was clearly a glimmer of recognition between us, but I felt it would be presumptuous to bowl up to them and say “Remember me?” So I said nothing. It was a product of shyness, and I can see now that my genuine attempt to avoid being rude or entitled could easily have come across as just the opposite.

Coming back to your question of what is going on, I think whatever it is, it’s neither completely out of the ordinary – many people go through something like this at work – nor is it some kind of misunderstanding born of a mistake or faux pas you’ve made.

I hope you can strike up a friendship with this person again, but if not, don’t feel that their snub reflects poorly on you.

Send your questions through to Work Therapy by emailing jonathan@theinkbureau.com.au

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