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Harry Garside's phone is filled with his own poetry.
It's probably not what you would expect from an athlete in one of the world's most brutal sports.
But the professional boxer says it is one of the only ways he can fully express his thoughts and emotions.
His latest verse is unsurprisingly heavy.
Deep down, I'm wanting.
For something to put me in my body.
To rip my soul into pieces.
Two decades for it to be over like that.
Garside's surprise crash out of the Paris Olympics last month without a medal left him shattered and he made no attempt to hide it.
"I feel like a failure right now," the 27-year-old admitted in his post match interview.
"I'm sure there'll be some dark times … and I've got to prepare for that now."
The pain was on Harry Garside's face when he was defeated in Paris. (Reuters: Peter Cziborra)
But four weeks on, the athlete tells triple j Hack that he is doing "relatively well".
"I'm waiting for this unwavering raw emotion to bench me, to just put me on my ass."
"I think I might be waiting for something that might not come."
'I felt numb'
By his own admission, the past few years have delivered Garside his highest highs and his lowest lows.
Since taking out a Gold medal in boxing at the Commonwealth Games in 2018, he has competed at two Olympics, won multiple championships and dabbled in reality television.
Harry Garside won Gold at the 2018 Commonwealth Games. (AAP: Dave Hunt)
But then things changed dramatically.
Last year, he was charged with domestic violence-related common assault, which he always denied.
The charge was dropped, with his former girlfriend now facing charges over the same incident.
Garside says the experience almost broke him.
"That's real pain and they're soul-shattering moments," he tells Hack.
"I'm really grateful that situation happened to me because I did shed my skin and grow into a better version of myself.
"I know who I am. I can look myself in the mirror and be proud of the man who stands in front."
A case against Harry Garside was dismissed. (AAP: Bianca De Marchi)
'I'm too young for a memoir'
Garside has never been a typical boxer, or even a typical celebrity.
He has built a career and reputation around being an open book.
Now he has released his own.
The Good Fight is a collection of thoughts on identity, masculinity and mental health.
Loading...Garside says he is hoping the book can help other young men navigate the complex and often lonely process of growing up.
"I'm proud of myself."
"Most of my life I can reflect on the decisions I've made in dark times and a lot of them haven't been positive.
"But over the past 18 months, the decisions I've chosen to make in dark times have been way better.
"I change my mind all the time and I love that about myself."
Reflecting on failure
One of the key messages Garside wants to send is that failing offers opportunity.
"Society tells you to get back up and dust yourself off and go again," he says.
"But when you have that mindset, you get back up and you make the same mistake again because you don't actually reflect on what happened."
Harry Garside won Australia's first Olympic medal in boxing when he won bronze at the Tokyo Olympics. (Pool/Getty Images: Luis Robayo)
He also implores young men to open their eyes to the many facets of masculinity.
"Be curious, be open minded, be yourself.
"And find the crowd that will celebrate that."
It's something Garside reflects on with experience.
He has spent his life busting stereotypes, making headlines around the world as the boxer who enjoys ballet, painting his nails and wearing skirts.
"Through my search for masculinity and manhood, I have seen that masculinity comes in many forms," he says.
"I'm obsessed with growing and evolving."
Helping boys become good men
When it comes to "toxic masculinity", Garside is more direct, admitting he hates the expression.
"I think originally when it started it was a good term, but I just think it's become pretty politicised.
"[Boys] don't fully understand who they are and they're working it out.
"I think the term can be toxic in itself and I think it can make boys feel like they're bad people.
"We need to work together."
'What comes next?'
With the Olympics over and his book tour drawing to a close, Garside admits he doesn't really know what comes next.
But he suspects a solitary road trip might be the perfect opportunity for him to chart his next course.
"I'm just going to create some space.
"I'll take however long I feel like I need and see what happens.
"At the moment I'm really not sure."