Not even a well-documented series of on-air brain explosions have resulted in the pair’s long-overdue expulsion from the airways. Lowlights include hooking a 14-year-old up to a lie detector to ask her about her sexual history (whereupon she revealed she’d been raped), a segment titled “naked dating”, and (lest anyone think we’re unfairly focused on historical offences), there was the interview with the 100-year-old retired flight attendant with (apparently and understandably) spotty memory, who was asked whether she’d ever joined the mile-high club. That happened this morning.

The show’s response to its flagging Victorian ratings figures has also been typically tasteful and classically understated. In a recent segment titled “dudes weeing”, five women who worked on the program recorded themselves urinating, ostensibly to determine whether it was possible for a third party to identify some or all of them based on their toileting habits. Naturally, the commentary featured a spirited discussion of menstruation, and panty liners, and vaginas because (did I say this already?) sex sex sex.

In Melbourne, where that sort of caper is still capable of generating a headline, there was a ripple of indignation, but for Sydney listeners whose ears are so full of calluses that it’s tough for any sound to get through, there wasn’t an outraged headline in sight. After all, the problem is practically someone else’s now. If you don’t like it yourself, offload it to the nearest viable market, right?

Now, someone pass me a can of grass tea herbal jelly and a bottle of fermented sludge-in-a-single-serve. Attention, Auckland. Have you heard about the Kyle & Jackie O Show yet? I promise, you’re going to love it. Sex sex sex sex sex.