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My friend told me this story and when I said it sounded like something from a Work Therapy article, they told me I could pass it on, as long as we changed some things.
On a weekend, my friend was out with friends, some of them colleagues. They were on a main street. A car drove past and a man who seemed drunk yelled obscenities out the window. They all turned and several of them, including my friend, said they thought they recognised the man as someone they worked with.
One of the friends was adamant it was him, but others, including my friend, weren’t 100 per cent sure. Later, they approached their boss and explained what happened. The boss took it seriously but warned they had to be certain if they wanted to make a formal complaint. What should they do?
If you’re thinking about making a complaint about someone’s behaviour outside of work, there are some things to think carefully about.Credit: John Shakespeare
I’m glad the manager took this seriously, and I think their advice is sound. They are quite sensibly suggesting that the friends need a high standard of proof before making allegations. With that in mind, I think the people considering whether to take this further need to weigh up certain factors and possibilities.
The first thing I’m interested in about this incident is whether the person in the car was directing his invective at them specifically or was just drunkenly screaming out the window at anyone and everyone?
I’m not saying the latter is the sort of behaviour you should just shrug off, but I do think it’s an important distinction when we’re considering the identity of this person. From our email correspondence, I get the impression the answer to that question isn’t clear.
Understanding whether this is out of the blue or part of a pattern of behaviour may be helpful.
It sounds as if the abuse this person yelled was disgusting, but not specific to any of the people in the group. It also sounds like there were other people on the street at the time. Therefore, it’s plausible that this was just indiscriminate ranting. If it were more personal or specific, it would obviously be much easier to conclude that this was indeed the colleague in question.
I’m also interested in how well the people who thought they recognised the man from work know him. Do they work directly with him? Have they had concerns about his behaviour before? Have they ever suspected he might be a bit of a loose unit, to use a technical term? In short, is this completely out of character?