Professor Cooper said that as a permanent worker you have every right to use your leave and should tell your boss you intend - and need - to use it. There are legal protections for workers with caring responsibilities in the Fair Work Act, as well as in the Sex Discrimination Act.

If you don’t have paid leave entitlements, Cooper said you have access to two days of unpaid carers’ leave under the Fair Work Act. This is important to keep in mind if appeals to what she describes as “common sense and common decency” prove futile.

If, as she put it, “dispassionately pointing out that this is a family emergency and that [you] would like the support of [your] employer” gets you nowhere, make sure you know your rights. And if you’re unsure or feel those rights are unclear, there are lots of organisations that can help

“[You] could seek advice from a union, a working women’s centre or government body like the Workplace Ombudsman. All have good resources on their websites as well as advice lines,” Cooper says.

“If the employer does not allow the employee to take leave, they could be in breach of several laws in both the industrial and discrimination jurisdictions.”

To me, this is as much a question about modern expectations of businesses and employers as it is about the law. As Cooper put it, “good employers recognise that employees have lives and non-work responsibilities, and support them in meeting these”.

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I’m not sure that’s a particularly radical idea or that too many readers of this column would bristle at the sentiment. And yet, I wonder what would happen if the tables were turned and an employee said to a boss “it’s not my fault your business is so inflexible that my brief absence is considered intolerable”.

I think it would be considered impertinent, and for some even profane. Until we get away from the idea that an organisation - a corporation - deserves a kind of dignity and respect that an individual doesn’t, these sorts of situations will continue to arise.

Of course, this doesn’t free the manager who made the comment of responsibility.

“Overall this person sounds like a bad boss,” Cooper concluded. “I’m glad to hear that the employee has left this business.”

So am I, and I hope your relative has found satisfaction in her new place of work, as well as a more reasonable person to work under.

Work Therapy welcomes questions from anybody on any work-related topic. Send yours to jonathan@theinkbureau.com.au