My other concern is that while the greeting was once used only in places of pampering, it seems to be creeping into other professions. I was called “lovely” the other day by the nurse who did my blood test. What’s the next step here? Will my GP start using it?

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I’m worried that “lovely” is becoming pervasive for women, as “champ” has for the blokes.

The guy at our local bottle-o calls my partner “champ”. Now my partner is a very nice guy – kind, funny, and a bit sporty. But a champion is someone who has surpassed all rivals in a sporting contest or vigorously defended a cause. My guy played rep cricket on the mid-north coast 40 years ago. A great achievement no doubt, but unworthy of the “champ” sobriquet?

I wonder if Ian Thorpe gets “champed” when he drives through to pick up a carton?

My neighbour tells me that if ever he is “champed”, he comes back with “tiger”. It goes like this: Bottle-o guy: “Can I help you there, champ?” My neighbour: “Thanks tiger, I’m just looking for a good shiraz.” He says the tiger comeback has a two-pronged effect. Firstly, it makes him feel a hell of a lot better about being champed in the first place, and also it seems to make the other person perhaps think twice about their choice of words.

Maybe they’re just thinking to themselves “Have I just been tigered?” Who knows? But I have been buoyed by his stance. And so, in a “if you can’t beat ’em join ’em” sort of a way, I am now in the process of trialling comeback greetings for when I am “lovelied”.

To date, I have used, “hey precious”, “hey treasure” and “hey pet” and, while none of these feel completely comfortable just yet, I am going to persist because, let’s face it, the alternative is that I do turn into Nannie Doss and that’s not going to be lovely at all.

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