I was told the battery was not defective, it had just passed its ‘freshness’ date. That was March 2016 and this was 2017. How Duracell, of all brands, could say a leaking battery is not defective is beyond me. The extent of the company’s concern ran to offering me a $10 voucher and an ‘enclosed’ pamphlet on battery care of which there was no trace. I was annoyed but, okay, the batteries were a year beyond their best before date.

More recently a little-used remote stopped working and when I opened the battery compartment I discovered what you see in the picture. The best before date was March 2024. So I lodged another complaint with Duracell by filling out the online form and then discovered there was no ‘submit’ button. I rang customer service (Just try finding that number. Oh okay, I’ll save you the trouble: 1800-239901) and was advised to submit it by email.

The reply said Duracell appreciated my message and was concerned, but seemed to figure it was all my fault anyway “as you will see from the enclosed pamphlet” which was not enclosed or even attached. Apparently I should remove batteries from any device not being used for a few months, and I should remove worn-out batteries to “prevent possible over-discharge and damage from battery leakage”. No $10 voucher this time.

Once again it appears to me that Duracell gives not a toss that its batteries are leaking to the point of falling apart. Incidentally, Duracell says the best before date indicates only how long the batteries remain useful if “stored under normal conditions.” That’s in the original packaging in a dry place at room temperature. I guess even when you pay for premium batteries these days you need to keep an eye on them; lumps and bumps are the initial danger sign.

Now I’m buying Energizers and… so far so good.