Question:

A few members of the team I work in started calling me the “teacher’s pet” a while ago. I do get on well with our manager, but I don’t think I get favourable treatment and I would never try to get ahead at the expense of someone else. I just try to do my job as well as I can.

It’s always been a light-hearted joke, but I’m worried there might be an element of resentment. Should I talk to my team or my boss about this?

Answer:

I’ve been in a similar situation to this, and I understand your concern. Many years ago, colleagues referred to me as “the golden child”. Although it was good-spirited, and I had a good relationship with everyone who made the comment, I was always conscious of the adage that many a true word is spoken in jest.

Perhaps unlike in your case there was also very clearly an element of truth to it. Like you, I don’t remember sucking up to the boss in question, but I quite clearly received less stern treatment than others.

“Teacher’s pet”, though, has slightly different connotations, and when I spoke with psychologist Dr Linda Dalton how you should handle this one, she suggested that laughing along, as I did, is not a good idea.

“We teach people how to treat us. If you’re being called nicknames in the workplace you need to provide some relearning yourself. As a dyed-in-the-wool cognitive behaviouralist, I think the first thing you must do is immediately cease answering to it.

“You must tell people you are asking them to stop and that the way you are to be addressed is by your name.”