Ms Walters told The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald she believed she was the victim of a long-running double standard in the military under which women were treated differently to men.

“The amount of unwritten rules you have to follow: the way you dress, no revealing clothing, what you wear when you go to the gym, no singlets. Nothing that may make others see you in a sexualised way,” Ms Walters said.

“The investigation painted me as a predator, but the relationship was never not consensual. If you are a man you get the high-fives, but the girls get talked about. Their view was that I was a person of loose morals,” she said.

A Defence spokeswoman said the ADF was unable to comment as Ms Walters was still in service. Her termination takes effect from March 1.

Ms Walters’ complaint details how she first had a platonic relationship with her eventual partner. In May 2020 she was asked by a superior officer whether the pair were a couple. Ms Walters said they were not.

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In December 2020, her direct commanding officer discussed “rumours” circulating about the pair and allegedly went on to say: “I don’t want to know, as I do not want you to lie to me, [he] posts out of the Battery in a week’s time, let’s let sleeping dogs lie and we will move on next year.”

But when Ms Walters returned from holidays in February last year, she informed the same officer that she and the man had been in a relationship since early December and that it had taken eight weeks for them to determine they had a future together.

She claims the officer said her disclosure meant he had no choice but to investigate her conduct otherwise he would be considered a “coward”.

Having been through an investigation in 2017 for the kissing incident, Ms Walters feared the toll on her mental health and moved to discharge herself from the army. However, the ADF did not allow her to do this as it wanted to investigate her conduct and, as such, required her to remain in service.

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Ms Walters’ mental state deteriorated over several months. She was later formally diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, a major depressive disorder and anxiety.

Army records show that before her termination Ms Walters had received exemplary performance reviews, and she was to embark on a PhD in military leadership at the Royal Military College.

One of the reasons given for Ms Walters’ termination was that she was seen “running her hand” through the hair of the man who became her partner during a physical training session. A Defence decision maker described the act as an example of “unacceptable behaviour”. Ms Walters said she did this to comfort the man while he was vomiting.

Her complaint alleges she knew about several male officers who had entered relationships with subordinates and failed to disclose them up the chain of command. None had been terminated by the ADF.

The complaint refers to a male captain at the Royal Military College in Canberra who remains in the ADF despite being found to be having sexual relationships with male cadets while Ms Walters was posted there in 2014 and 2015.

In 2018, the then vice chief of the ADF, admiral Ray Griggs, came under scrutiny over the timing of his disclosure of his relationship with a subordinate female naval officer who was later promoted to a more senior position. Two defence probes cleared the now retired Mr Griggs of wrongdoing.

Ms Walters’ lawyer, Jess Heron from Maurice Blackburn, said the treatment of her client sent a message to women in the armed forces that they were less valuable than men.

Ms Heron said Ms Walters could have included in her complaint several more examples of males in the ADF having kept their jobs despite being found to have sexually harassed their female colleagues.

“This is not an offence which required termination,” Ms Heron said.

With the Royal Commission into Defence and Veteran Suicide in progress, Ms Heron said the ADF’s own data revealed suicides among female veterans were 127 per cent higher than the civilian population.

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Ms Walters said that until the investigation into her had begun, she had no intention of leaving the ADF.

Her complaint to the Human Rights Commission details how she would have reasonably been expected to earn almost $600,000 between now and 2026, with a further $90,000 contribution towards her PhD. She also wants an apology from the ADF.

“I want my name cleared. I don’t want to be terminated from the Defence Force for being me,” Ms Walters said. “I don’t even feel comfortable calling myself a veteran now and that isolates me from a community I was so proud to be a part of.”

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