Yes, managers are busy. No, they don’t have time to address every single problem or conflict in an organisation. But the best leaders can survey a work environment and see that something like this, an outwardly small thing that has become large because it never stops, needs to come to an end. And they can end it with a minimum of fuss or anxiety.
I’m not suggesting you have poor leaders in your organisation. But it does seem unlikely that they haven’t witnessed the behaviour we’re talking about. Perhaps they have but are yet to understand the extent of it. Maybe they’ve seen it but mistaken it as a bit of one-off fun. If that’s the case, you might consider bringing to their attention just how persistent this condescension is.
If the bosses know but don’t care, what you do next (as I so often say in Work Therapy) really depends on how you get on with this person when they’re not speaking to you as if you wear a nappy. You mentioned that you love hearing stories about this person’s kids, which makes me think your relationship with them hasn’t yet been ruined.
If this is the case, your first step might be nothing more than a light-hearted remark: “Your stories about your kids are fab. Although I’m not a big fan of you talking to me like one of them.” Sometimes, especially if a person is genuinely unaware of how irritating their behaviour is, a jokey, non-confrontational remark is all it takes to change it.
If that doesn’t work, I wonder if this could be a rare case where offering your antagonist a taste of their own medicine actually could make the situation better. If you’re game, a bit of baby talk straight back at them, could make it embarrassingly clear just how ridiculous their behaviour is.
If that fails, or you don’t feel comfortable doing it, you or a colleague may need to be a bit more blunt. Firmly but professionally let your co-worker know that the way they speak with their children isn’t the way they should speak with people at work. If that’s not enough, describe why it’s degrading and how it makes coming to work less enjoyable.
Let us know how you go.
Send your questions to Work Therapy by emailing [email protected]
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