That might be different if others in the organisation were also expressing concern or disapproval at this “role” you’ve made your own. If, in fact, this is something you’re doing in defiance of the organisation’s culture or policies, or having been told not to, then I could see how you might want to reconsider how you intercede in disputes and even what kind of advice you offer.

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But it sounds like this isn’t really the case at all. You’re not offering some kind of underground service. Everyone knows you’re a good sounding board and that you offer sound guidance; they come to you not in defiance of HR or as part of a clique, but because they like and respect you.

Yes, taking it upon yourself to loosen an interpersonal work knot is different from offering solicited counsel, but I don’t think what you’ve described is a form of gross overreach. In fact, what I hear from Work Therapy readers over and over again is that people are crying out for colleagues prepared to remedy an uncomfortable or distracting workplace situation.

Not everyone has the gravitas, skills and experience to step in and make an unpleasant office matter better. And sometimes the official response is inadequate, even counterproductive. I think it would be a shame – and, more importantly, would be considered a shame by many of your co-workers – if this one bad experience forced you to withdraw and stop making your rare ability available.

I commend you for reviewing your own conduct, and think you should certainly change the way you operate, if after this deliberation you decide you’ve “overstepped the mark” (to use your term). From what you’ve told me, though, I really don’t think you have.

Two colleagues being resentful that you’ve spoken directly to them about their unprofessional (and probably offensive) behaviour doesn’t seem to me like a good reason to stop being the kind of colleague so many of your peers appreciate and depend on.

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